“Communicating with People”

It is usually said that people are speaking and thinking animals. To a great extent this is true. However, it is also true that many people use their tongues to say things that they do not mean, sometimes intentionally and at others, unintentionally. Dealing with such people is hard, but it is never impossible to know whether or not they mean what they are saying. One has to read the body language of people as well as their words, and one also has to use common sense.

One of the easiest techniques to learn about communication is common sense. When someone’s words are self-contradicting or are not making sense at all, then the person is most likely to be telling something that he does not mean. There is a proverb that says, “how did you know it was a lie? Because it was a big one!” When someone is always telling stories about what a hero or a great person he is, it does not take a great effort to realize that he is either lying or simply exaggerating. Either way, his words are not to be taken at face value.

Another situation in which common sense is useful happens to be when people are very emotional. When they are very upset, angry, or sad, people say things they do not mean. For example, a woman who has lost her lover would say, “I feel I am dying.” She is feeling very upset and sad, but of course she is not dying, but rather, feeling as if she were dying, and there is a big difference of course.

In addition to common sense, body language can be very useful in telling what people really mean. When people are lying or saying things they do not mean, they are likely to be nervous. In this case, they will rub their necks, brush their hair, or hide their mouth. They may also rub their nose or play with their ears. Some people may put their hands behind their backs or avoid eye contact. Of course, it is hard to judge unless we know the person and how he communicates in normal circumstances.

The best technique to be used when communicating with people is to keep eyes open, to focus, and to use common sense and the ability to read body language. With training and experience, one can be very good at learning these techniques and therefore becomes an expert at communicating with people who do not mean what they say.